Parenting

How Long Do Your Kids Need You as a Stay at Home Mom?

noreply@blogger.com (Site Owner) — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 06:17:00 +0000

The choice to be a stay at home mom often occurs during pregnancy, when your child is born or when they're young. It's a time you know that you're needed by them as a mom. But what about as they get older? Will it then be time to head back into the workforce.

Maybe. Maybe not.

There's much to be said for continuing to be a stay at home mom even through the teen years, as I hope to do. Kids don't need you in the same way when they're teens as they did as babies and young children, but they do need you.

Being at home with them means that you have the chance to get to know all their friends. You get to know what they enjoy doing. You get to continue guiding them in their choices.

You can do all of that as a working mom, of course. It takes more effort, especially if your schedule isn't cooperating, but it can be done. The stay at home mom merely has the simpler way to manage all of that.

Even so, there are a lot of factors to consider.

How Are You Feeling About Staying at Home Longer?

I've always said being a stay at home mom isn't for everyone. Neither is being a long term stay at home mom. It's a lot of work and despite how some feel, there's nothing wrong with wanting to do other things with your life as well.

A mom who is miserable staying at home may not be as good for her kids as one who is happy working outside the home. You don't really want to be showing your kids that it's okay for mom to be miserable in her lifestyle. I feel that you can still make your children a solid priority even if you aren't a stay at home mom.

One of the wonderful things about kids getting older is that you can think about if you really need to be home all the time. When they're in school, you certainly have the choice to do something other than wait for them to come home. It might be a hobby, it might be a part time job, it might be a business, it might be saying "wow, the house is quiet..." although you'll probably get over that last one.

How Are the Finances?

Most families make a big financial sacrifice when a parent decides to stay at home. It's not cheap. As the kids get older it might be time to rethink the finances and decide if the sacrifices are really worth it.

You still have the choices of a stay at home job or a home business, but if you're doing one or both and not bringing in enough money, you may be considering something outside the home. Or you may be saying "I can finally get enough hours in now that the kids are in school!"

You should be paying attention to your finances even if you aren't struggling, of course. You don't need to be bringing in enough money to pay for huge family vacations every year, but you should be doing well enough that you don't struggle with debt.

How Will the Kids Feel About You Returning to Work?

You'll naturally be concerned about how your kids feel about you returning to work. They'll often be a little concerned, especially if you've always been there for them.

Sometimes you'll have to return to work even if the kids don't like the idea. If your family needs the money to get by, that's the most important part. If you're going back to work more for your own satisfaction, you can talk to your kids about that. Be honest with them. Kids love having happy parents.

Some children have more need of their parents than others. If there are genuine problems that mean you need to stay home, that's a big factor to consider. There are times that it is necessary to sacrifice your personal goals. That's not going to be true for many families, but if there's more of a need for you to be home, don't forget about it even as the kids get older.

Don't be at all surprised if your feelings about whether you should continue on as a stay at home mom becomes mixed as your kids get older. That's normal. There's so much of an expectation that moms will go back to work that it's hard to go another path. But if continuing to stay at home is right for you and your family, do it and be proud. If going back to work is the right choice, do it and be proud.

Keep doing what's best for yourself and your family as a whole, and it's probably going to be the right decision.

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Stephanie Foster runs http://www.homewiththekids.com as a resource for stay at home moms.

Learn more about the difference you can make to your kids as a stay at home mom at http://www.homewiththekids.com/blog/2010/01/does-being-a-stay-at-home-mom-make-a-difference-to-your-kids

The Good And The Ugly Of Online Kids Games

noreply@blogger.com (Site Owner) — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 04:39:00 +0000

Internet has really invaded our lives to an extent that we are very much depended on it for all kinds of help. We do most of our personal and professional work on the internet and watch movies online as well. Hence, we can say that internet has become an essential part of our daily life.

Video gaming has remained popular for many decades and now the trend of video gaming has merged with internet giving rise to the new trend of internet gaming which is really attracting more and more kids towards it because they can not only play games but also interact with their opponents.

There are many websites that have been developed in order to provide free internet games to kids from all over the world. These websites do not charge any fees and therefore all the kid has to do is register and login and start playing.

Some of the sites which are paid website demand some amount of fees that would help the kid to get registered as a member after which they can play games online and also interact with the other friends who are online from different locations. However, are these gaming websites really safe for your kids?

Internet is a powerful tool that can be used as a double-edge sword and therefore it does have its own disadvantages as well, which as a responsible parent you should be aware of.

Some of the gaming websites might be genuine but they have a lot of advertisement and internet marketing gimmicks on them which can easily lure kids to click on them and enter their vital information. These internet marketing tools are used in order to extract more information from the users so that companies can expand their database.

Many of the gaming websites often have advertisements that are vulgar and pornographic in nature which can be harmful to the psychology of your child. These advertisements are designed smartly in order to attract a lot of young crowd to their websites.

They provide free trial to your kids that would attract the kid instantly and the result is that your kid will become a regular visitor of that pornographic website. Hence, it is very important that we keep focus on what kind of websites our kids are visiting and what kind of games he prefers to play while he is with his peer group and friends.

If your children play games on the internet, remember that parenting is the best content filter. Don't rely on any software internet filters you may have installed on your computer. If you have one, that's good, but in addition to that, put the computer in a public place such as your living room and make sure that you can see the screen when your children play online games.

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What to Do When You Have a Child Prodigy

noreply@blogger.com (Site Owner) — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 03:54:00 +0000

Since the advent of time, child prodigies have always been a big deal. Whether it was Mozart to Blaise Pascal; whether it was Galileo Galilei or Shirley Temple and whether it was Wayne Gretzky or Tiger Woods. Regardless of what the field is, it is amazing to think a child has such advanced abilities. As a parent, it can be more stressful because you aren't sure what the correct course of action to take is.

The first thing you have to do is to be able to recognize when you have a child prodigy on your hands. If you do, it should be clear that they have some remarkable aptitude in a certain field. It could be that they are great at painting, they are great at online roulette, or they are great at music. It just is clear that they are gifted.

When you discover this, you should do everything you can to feed your child. They should have a thirst for knowledge in this area. You should give them extra lessons or a private tutor to make sure they are taking in new information at the level they should. Why should they be learning how to count when they should be doing calculus and trigonometry?

You often see prodigies in entertainment. Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers are a current example, and before that Lindsay Lohan. You can say that being a child star can mean a messed-up adulthood but you can still be messed up without it. Why shy away from something just because of potential pitfalls? With good parenting, they can still be a child star and have a good rest of their life.

Yes, they are going to grow up very quickly but they are going to have an education for life and that is something you don't learn in school. In fact many people at school complain they are learning things for the sake of learning, which they will never use in later life. So why be fussed that they are missing out on learning these irrelevant things when they are learning things that will stay with them for the rest of their life?

If they are a prodigy in a field such as maths, chemistry or physics than leaving school won't be considered. They will be just leaving their current class for high school or even for college. They may then turn out to be one of the foremost academics. This was the case with Saul Kripke who was offered the chance to be a professor at Harvard while still in high school. He eventually went to Harvard where he won the much highly-coveted Schock Prize.

Often the level in which they excel can be limited by their age. A person can be a professional tennis player at the age of 14 but they wouldn't be able to be a professional formula one driver at the same age. Nor could they be a professional online roulette player. They will have to wait until they are legal age.

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Louis Garrick is a freelance writer who writes articles for popular online news sites. He has just completed a series of articles on online gaming culture and gaming sites like http://www.intercasino.co.uk.

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How Do You Decide Which Parent Stays at Home?

noreply@blogger.com (Site Owner) — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 04:44:00 +0000

How do you decide which parent stays home with the kids? It's a tough question and the answer may be different for each family, especially if both the mother and the father are interested in being home with the kids.

Income

Who brings in the most income is a simple way to decide. If one parent is unemployed or earns significantly less than the other, it makes good financial sense to have that parent stay home.

But you also want to consider income potential, especially if the current difference is small. If one career has much greater potential in the long run, that's probably the one to stick with.

And don't forget stability. Just think of all the people who have been laid off in recent times. If one job is far less likely to suffer that way than the other, you need to consider that factor.

Personal Preference

Often one parent wants to stay home much more so than the other. For one of my sisters, it was a part of the deal that her husband would get to stay home with their kids.

You don't want a parent who is going to be miserable to stay home. They won't be happy and probably won't do as good a job at being a stay at home parent as one who really wants to be there. That's not to say they'll do a bad job or anything, but miserable shows even when you do your best to hide it. Kids notice.

Ability to Earn Money from Home

That I was training to be a medical transcriptionist at the time I got pregnant was a big factor in the decision that I would be home with the kids. We didn't have to sacrifice my entire income potential to have me there. Instead we sacrificed and continue to sacrifice quiet evenings together after the kids are in bed, as that's a big time for me to work. But we make it work.

Ability to Keep Up Skills

Most families don't have one parent stay home forever. You're both going to want a retirement income, after all. Staying at home can mean taking a break from a career.

That doesn't have to be all bad. The at home parent can take the time to take classes to update his or her skills. He or she can freelance to bring in some income and keep up those skills. It's important to make the most of what you have and what you're going to need to have for your future.

All these considerations assume that you have the financial ability to have one parent stay at home. If it's going to ruin your family's finances, think very carefully about what you're doing. You may need to take some extra time, pay down some bills and build some savings before you can have either parent stay at home.

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Stephanie Foster runs http://www.homewiththekids.com as a resource for stay at home parents.

Come meet other SAHMs and SAHDs at her forum for stay at home parents at http://www.homewiththekids.com/phpBB2

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How To Communicate With Teenagers

noreply@blogger.com (Site Owner) — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 13:14:00 +0000

Communicating with your teenager might be frustrating. You might not know the best way to go about it or what strategies to try. It`s important to remember that different things work for different families, so it is best to try different methods to see which one works for you.

Teenagers can be tricky. They are caught somewhere between being a kid and wanting to be an adult. However, with this age it can also bring defiantness, poor listening skills, impulsive behavior and decision making. Some teenagers run wild at this age; they may act out, not listen and seem to have no remorse or concern for their actions.

When teenagers are just doing minimal acting out, it is always advisable to have an open relationship with them. That means that you ensure there is time to talk and that you open yourself to it. Find periods of time during the day to bring up conversation. For example; making breakfast, or during dinner, find time to talk to your teenager. They may not tell you anything important, but just knowing that you are there to listen is a great first step to communicating.

Often the way adults approach teenagers can affect how the conversation is going to turn out. For example, if a parent is upset about something and storms into their teen`s room and starts accusing them of something, they may get defensive and mad. That is because teenagers sometimes feel that the whole world is against them and that nobody understands them.

To make your teenager not feel like they`re up against a wall, you should find an alternate way to talk to them. This could include giving your teenager some respect; you could knock on their door, and give them the benefit of the doubt. That means that you`re going to go into the conversation with an open mind. When your teenager can see that you`re not accusing and that you`re just talking to them, they might open and up and tell the truth.

If teenagers are doing some serious acting out and they are out of control, often there is not much that you can really do. You are not happy with the choices they are making, but the best thing to do is stand back and let your teenager learn from their mistakes. Often times, parents will complain that their teenagers are doing things that they don`t like and in response to it, they yell, scream, argue and take things away.

The only problem with giving out harsh punishment to a teenager, who is acting out to the extreme, is that they will likely only rebel further and the relationship between parent and child might become damaged. Often it is best to stop accusing, blaming and giving out punishment. Keeping an open relationship with your teenager is the ultimate way to stay connected while you both go through the stage in his/her life.

Try to remember that all teenagers go through that troubling teenaged time period. And while some teenagers may act out more than others, the important thing to remember is that the period of time is only short and temporary. That means that your teenage daughter will eventually become a wonderful human being again! If you can get through the short time period while keeping a good relationship going, then you will most likely not regret it in the future.

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You can have access to articles about self help in Portuguese language from page http://www.polomercantil.com.br/auto-ajuda.php

Roberto Sedycias works as IT consultant for http://www.polomercantil.com.br

Not Spending Enough Time with Your Child? Don't Fall Into the Bad Parenting Trap

noreply@blogger.com (Site Owner) — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 04:44:00 +0000

Today's working parents have an understandably stressful life. They must juggle the demands of work with the proper upbringing of their children. These people try to balance both, trying to avoid the idea of bad parenting at all costs.

However, there are some people that knowingly ignore their children. Whether these parents know it or not, they are unquestionably practicing bad parenting habits.

Selfishness: The Key to Bad Parenting

Although child abuse is of course the worst form of bad parenting there is, parents who do not spend time with their children can be almost just as bad. Children act out when they are ignored, and thus selfishness on the part of the parents is clearly bad parenting that can result in the emotional scarring of the children.

Parents that ignore their children create a bad parenting habit that is becoming increasingly more common. This is a world where more and more people are working long hours at jobs, but the root of the parents ignoring their children has to do with who they are as people.

Although having children has become less and less common among couples that know they want place an emphasis on their career and each other, there are still those people that have children as part of the status quo. Once they have their children, these people (assuming that they have the financial means) often hire nannies to take care of their children, and thus the nannies become surrogate parents.

No matter how close a child becomes to his or her nanny, just knowing that they live in a home with parents who are very rarely present often makes them think they are not wanted and it must be their fault. Parents of this nature are often unaware of their children's feelings, and the emotional distance that results between these parents and their children is disheartening.

Simply put, there are far too many unwanted children in this world, and something needs to be done about it. People who are looking to have children must carefully consider if they have the right personalities to do so, and if they will be able to provide their children with the emotional support that they deserve.

To avoid bad parenting, parents need to love and nurture their children. The parents that provide a loving environment for their children are unselfishly providing the basis for a wonderful relationship, the kind that makes parenting truly wonderful.

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Eddie Lamb publishes an abundance of information on a range of topical subjects. You'll find a host of useful articles about Parenting listed on our site map at http://www.ParentingRewards.com.

How To Discipline Teenagers - Parenting Tips In Raising Responsible Teenagers

noreply@blogger.com (Site Owner) — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 01:36:00 +0000

Every parent may have some challenges on learning how to discipline teenagers as this stage in our daughter or son's life is full of confusion and challenges as well. Not only are parents having difficulties, but teenagers too. Of course, it is in this stage where they don't want to be treated like a child but they think they are too young to be an adult. This can be a stage full of experimentation, curiosity and wanting to be independent.

If you are a parent or a teacher, you would most likely understand this stage, as you have gone through this stage of being rebellious and stubborn. Of course, as a parent, you have to learn how to discipline teenagers, so you will be able to build good relationships with your son or daughter and raise them into responsible adults as well. Here are some tips to help you when it comes to disciplining teenagers.

- Impose curfews. Setting a curfew for your teen helps train him to become a responsible person, but of course, it should also come with a punishment. Whether they are curfews, rules or punishment, you have to make sure you are not also overdoing it or giving too much leeway also. Do not nitpick on trifling matters but don't fail to check on things that might be signs that your teen has been going with a bad company.

- Discuss things with your teen. Gone are those days that parents just lecture at their children. If you want to train your child in decision-making, you have to make him learn and understand how to make decisions, big and small, by engaging into a discussion with him once in a while especially when it comes to decision-making. Of course, you have to work on being an approachable parent and be someone that your kids can comfortably share their problems with.

- Give them some independence. It is just normal for teenagers to seek independence at this stage, thus it is also important not to constantly dictate them on what they want to do or not do. But of course, in giving leeway, it is important also to pay attention to some warning signs that he may be lost in his direction. If he has always been out with his friends you haven't met, or he's been skipping school frequently, then that must be dealt with as well.

- Don't criticize your kid with all those negative comments; make him understand instead if he has made some mistakes. If you find his way of dressing has changed, try to give constructive criticisms though. If it is something not good for him, then you can discuss it with him and make him understand.

Learning how to discipline teenagers starts from understanding that teenagers can indeed become rebellious and stubborn sometimes, and you just have to put up with it. Usually, the more you control them, the more they will want to rebel against you. But with open communication you can however handle this a little easier.

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Carolyn Anderson used to teach teens in tutorial classes. For a great guide to understanding and raising teens, check out this guide to http://www.dp-db.com/being-a-happy-teen.

Also check out http://www.dp-db.com/habit-guide, a great guide to overcoming bad habits.

Be a Better Mom: Follow Your Dreams!

noreply@blogger.com (Site Owner) — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 03:09:00 +0000

There's no doubt about it, the love a mother feels for her children is profound. But in this incredibly beautiful experience of motherhood, many moms also lose their identity. With so many demands on our time and energy, it is easy to see how a mom can get lost in her role of being the mother. However, it is essential for all moms to realize that by having personal goals of your own and taking active steps to follow them, you are showing your children how to follow their dreams. You are after all, a role model.

Unfortunately, the potential for a loss of your sense of self is one of the unspoken realities of motherhood that some women navigate with ease while others end up on antidepressants. As our children get older, some women lose their ambition and fall out of touch with their dreams.

What exactly is the cause of this loss of self? From the moment we find out we are pregnant, our bodies become shared and our own needs drop on the priority list. From then on, we have to think about what goes into and comes out of our body, what goes on in our heads, what comes out of our mouths... how everything we do effects someone else.

Now, here's the kicker... this entire shift in thinking happens before the baby is even born! Once the baby arrives, our thought patterns and level of stress shift into high gear. The reality is that when everything becomes about someone else, our own needs, wants and desires get lost in the shuffle. But, just as the flight attendants demonstrate on airplanes, we must remember we cannot take care of our children unless we put our own oxygen masks on first! This act of self-care is not selfish, it is necessary for own survival.

To compound this issue, we are watched by others to see if we are good moms and if our kids are well behaved. Whether or not this judgment is self-imposed or a misconception is another topic all together, but the feeling that we must be good moms is very real to most (if not all) mothers.

As our own interests fall second or third in line to the duties that are required to raise our families, no one bothers to tell us that just because we are moms, we do NOT have to give up our looks, our dreams and our happiness! In fact, we are better moms if we take the time we need to focus on what makes us happy. Take time to exercise, to meet with friends, to develop a business or donate to charity if that is what you need to do to get in touch with your purpose. We need to feel good about and show love to ourselves regularly so that we can show our children how to love themselves.

Everything we do as moms reflects on our children and plays a large role on their future. Are you showing them that their dreams and passions matter or that their duties are more important than their personal fulfillment?

In my own experience, I have found that as much as I love my kids, my passion does not lie in dirty socks, grocery runs or PTA meetings. And that's okay! When I tried to focus only on my family and not pursue my own dreams, I noticed resentment, agitation and sadness set in. Now, I acknowledge that I do have ambitions outside of my family and it feels great to appreciate that part of myself rather than hide it.

I wish I could tell you that there is a fairy out there who will tap you on the head with her magical wand when it is the right time to follow your dreams, but unfortunately she doesn't exist. If you need something to trigger you to get back in touch with your purpose, go dig out that tooth fairy costume and tap yourself into action!

ACTION STEP: When you are ready to get in touch with your true passions start by releasing any feelings you have that your children are more important than your own happiness and embrace the gift that you will give your family when you decide to start accomplishing your own goals. Start paying attention to what gets you excited. Then, make a list of at least 10 things you want to have, do and be in your life. Next, create a list of at least 3 action steps you can take to achieve each of those dreams.

Throughout this process, we must remind ourselves that the more we give to ourselves while letting our children witness this process of self-love, the easier it will be for our kids to follow their own dreams and find true happiness. Now, doesn't that sound like what every mom wants for her family? Now, give yourself permission and go follow your dreams!

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Britt Michaelian, M.A. is a mompreneur with multiple business and a new 12 week coaching program for moms who are ready to take the leap and start a lifestyle business. For access to her FREE Business Building Basics for Moms Teleseries starting October 26, go to http://CoachBritt.com

Impact of Television

noreply@blogger.com (Site Owner) — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 03:45:00 +0000

The discovery of Television has brought a revolution in the field of entertainment with this piece of idiot box reaching almost every nook and corner of the country. This technology of information transfer was treated as a blessing in disguise as it led to instant transfer of messages that once took days to travel.

However, the trend of television and its viewers has taken a bad shape these days as its impact on growing generation is taking a setback. According to studies, the growing mass is the most vulnerable and influenced target of this entertainment. To summarize the facts, here are the observations:

a) The television has become a favorite pass time for millions who once used to stroll about and play in mud in their leisure. The impact can be categorized depending on the age, personality and various other factors of the kid.

b) Small kids have stopped going out to play with neighborhood and stick glued to the idiot box. This has severe impact on the level or maturity and their physical growth. In the good golden times, children used to gossip, play gentle games, listen to stories and give time to their elders. But nowadays, they have started to ignore these and have accepted the television as their sole friend.

c) The violence shown on the television has severely impacted the youngsters as they are provoked to do some undesirable acts that might hurt themselves. There are many cases where kids have tried to imitate their heroes and suffered severe injuries. The personality of the kids have dramatically changed and their levels of perception has suffered a drastic turn. The feeling of irritation, short temperedness and violence has become their mode of interaction rather than mere conversation.

d) The media and the advertisements have also brought a bad impact on the children. The programs generally show a small kid using their product and instantly becoming intelligent and powerful which compels the kids to press their parents on buying their products.

e) The levels of uncensored scenes have surprisingly increased which has reflected in negative impact on the children. The once simple straight thinking children have become passionate and stylish trying to adopt the Macho image of their dream figures. Trying to impress girls, proving their superiority and using illegal ways for their entertainment. The sexual content shown in the televisions that are appropriate for the adult viewing has created a real bad effect on them.

f) The diminishing levels of physical shape of the children are also a result of growing craze of television. One can hardly deny the fact that children have ignored playing outdoor games that enhance their fitness and prefer staying indoors to watch their favorite serials.

Coming to a conclusion, we have witnessed a series of ill effects of growing viewers and television lovers that is not a healthy sigh of our upcoming generation. Especially in the last two decades, many children have complained of problems with eye sight and the credit goes to increased hours of watching television.

So, keep a check on your growing kids and make sure that they do not develop the habit of spending their time watching much on it.

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